Since you need to learn many things through life, you need to learn to regret too. You do things that flummox you, unimaginable things that make you pause and reconsider who you really are and what you are capable of.
I am not a bad person. Too kind most of the times and always try to make the right decision. But it does not mean that I can't be the worst version of myself. Every single person can be the worst. People can be born with wings and end up being a murderer or something. That is the quality I should keep on mind. People are not perfect, still we tend to forget the fact that we have weaknesses. We strive for perfection in many ways that we forget the magical moments we could enjoy the most.
There was this episode in Black Mirror series that was about making a robot kind of thing of your beloved after his death so you don't feel lonely or lost anymore. It was so interesting cause at first it was just like a great way to find peace. However, later the robot became so annoying that the woman kicked him out of the house. The most annoying part was that he was perfect now. It was like we can't be happy unless we experience ups and downs. Perfect human being is not a dream but a nightmare.
The most important thing is to be aware where you are and what you are capable of doing...
Neil Gaiman once said: " People think dreams are not real just because they are not made of matter, of particles.But they are made of viewpoints, of images,of memories and puns and lost hopes. " I'm not sure if mine comes from a lost hope or metaphor of what I am seeking in the world after. I don't even believe in it. I lack knowledge and I strongly believe that everybody's knowledge about it is insufficient.
However, I have this dream and it hits me a lot that I am a bird flying high to a waterfall. There is this deep silence in the air and the only sound filling is the sound of water drops falling down. I am going forth and back, flying around and just feel great. It seems to me that I have found the meaning of living in that moment and nothing is important anymore. It's like pure 100% peace floating in my wings.
Watching the world from the high angel is what I am really interested in. I remember some months ago I actually made a board on pinterest and named it || After death, if I could fly || and then I just pinned many photos of high angle in it. Sometimes at nights when I'm ready to fall asleep, I just take a look at that special board of mine and think about observing everything there, from that sacred angel. I close my eyes and I see New York city . The yellow cabs bustling and people walking so fast to get somewhere. And then I go to cinemas, cafes, bars and vacant alleys. I visit Paris, Prague, Beirut, Zagreb and the journey goes on and on ... I close my eyes and I become this floating ghost or a bird or anything like that and I just feel like I am high. drunk with my dreams... That is the best kind, isn't it ?
p.s: Look at my board. All the places I have been to...dreaming.
well, Albert Einstein reportedly thought of his theory of relativity while riding his bike. The theory of relativity has already been discovered, so I needed to think about something else on the bike. I was actually thinking about leaving the country I am living in behind and just go somewhere far far away from this craziness. The importance of this thought is that I have always wanted to stay here even in the hardest days and despite all limitations. This was actually the first time I was thinking of leaving.
I may not go anywhere soon,but I am tired of many things .
my bestie was arrested last night in the street because she was wearing a woolen kind of hat on her scarf. The police arrested her cause they believed it is a kind of getting-attraction work of art. She was humiliated and was really angry. She came here and we had dinner with our partners. We had a good laugh and she cooled down a little .
I have stayed here all these years cause I thought the only problem was the authority. However, these days I'm reconsidering my thoughts. people r the ones who I am tired of.
people with their judgmental eyes and their strict opinion about every single matter.
I was riding a bike and I was thinking the only way to be happy in Iran is to live in a protective bubble you make around yourself. The one that you allow the selected people to get in and the house in which you live as u like.
I've got my partner, my besties and my house. Am I gonna survive ?
