While growing up, you are looking forward to getting to the day in which you can handle the wounds. You are hurt. so does everybody else. You seek escape from pain. You can't wait the arrival of the day in which you are tough enough to manage the blue moments of your life.
Then there you are. All grown up. mature enough to get in touch. You have heard many fairy tales of true friendship and great bonding. You are looking hard to find your fairy tale! That's where you make the biggest mistake. Life is damn real and fairy tales are not. You fall into a pattern of intimacy which does not exist. You have the dream. You start building up. Then you are hurt. one after each other. You lose your hope and start being pessimistic. You are looking for the cocktail hour. All you get is the mourning night !
You look for the non-judgmental good listener. All you get is an advice-giver. You wonder why your friend does not care about you as much as you care about the relationship. People come and go. People have got their own stories. You try and try and the chemistry doesn't always work.
You start counting the numbers. counting the wounds. counting the people who have come to your life. How many relationships should you have to find the real one ? How many times are you going to experience the hardship of a break-up ?
Is intimacy worth it or is it just a false morel ?
Are you trying too hard ?
Isn't forgiveness the true mark of maturity ? How come you can't let the ones who hurt you back in your life ? Are you selfish or are you scared ?
The damn fairy tales confused us to death !
I thought buying a new phone and a new number is just exciting. Although I had difficulty in accepting the new number. I didn't have any other choice though. Well it is exciting of course , but it doesn't end there.
I felt brand new with the new number. It was like I was surrounded by nothing but air. It was like a new start. I didn't feel like needing one though. I decided not to export my contacts and have them added manually. It was like deep down I knew there are numbers I don't want anymore.
People who have come to my life and have already gone. People who had hurt me in a way and not adding them to the new contact list seemed much easier than deleting them from the old one.
It was weird and also interesting for me. sometimes you forget what you are surrounded by. It's seems crowded out there but the truth is that there are many strangers you don't have anything in common with. you should be bold enough to delete. I guess I was not. So I remade a new contact list trying to forget the ones who I should have deleted long times ago.
I am not a yoga person. sitting for a long time and listening to different kinds of speech bore me to death. I don't believe in many common things others may do. I don't know if there is a thing such as Karma. I don't believe in God either. However, I am not an atheist. I just think there are many other important stuff in the world that we should think about. The existence of God is not one of them for me. It doesn't make any difference in my life.
I have principles though. and it's hard for me to deal with people who don't.
I try not to hurt people and not to expect too much. I try to be responsible for whatever I am doing and I try to be kind with people and other creatures.
I don't believe in spiritual journeys, but I believe in positive vibes. I try hard to keep my life on the positive side.
That's why I am so picky with choosing friends. Negative people are dangerous. They can take your happiness away in a moment. People who are irresponsible with their life and expect others to carry the burden are not safe. They can hurt you badly and they will have a bad influence on your lifestyle.
I hate making a speech, but those words are coming from the place my experience lies in. We all get hurt in our life. The important thing is to learn the lesson and stop making the same mistake over and over again.
Sometimes I look back and I count the things which went wrong in my life and I try to find the reason behind any of them. believe me or not the reason is always pointing to me. Why is it so hard to keep away from those who hurt you most ? Why do I repeatedly forget the history behind a relationship ?
I think people forget the fact that everything needs watching. I strongly agree with what Stephen Hawking says. He believes that nothing exists until there is an observer to watch it . I tend to take that sentence and use it for many things in my life. The most important one is relationships.
How come you take care of your plants and water them regularly, but you let a relationship live on its own?! People need to spend quality time with each other and they have to make magical moments in their relationship.
The world is such an exciting place if you start being playful. Playing games or watching series in each others' arms or cooking together is just adding spice to the life. It is important to keep things alive. Otherwise life would be a big cemetery of our memories and dreams buried into.
I try to spend a lot of quality time with my partner. However, I sometimes feel maybe it's not been enough. I strongly believe that love is the only thing worth fighting for.
When there is pleasure, why having a conflict ?
