A gloomy religious city with the best food ever!

We decided to have a short trip to Mashad where my family live. We booked our flight and packed as quick as we could. I used to carry lots of luggage whenever I was going on a trip.He told me it pays to travel light and to be honest he was completely right! I'm trying to be a minimalist now and I think it works! So we packed our small red suitcase and put everything in it. I felt like Marry Poppins since everything was put in the small suitcase easily. 

The only thing I love about this city is that everything is ambrosial here. The perks of having my parents here is that we come here once in a while to visit them so we can have the most delicious meals too.

We were invited to my niece's birthday party and we had fun. I can't believe how fast my nephews and nieces have grown up. It feels great to see their personality being shaped out. 

Everytime we come here I try to find something to get connected to the city but it doesn't work. I hate it with so much I just wait to get back to Tehran. 

I sometimes think about the day my parents die and it feels so sad and gloomy but the fact is that I'm sure we won't have any other reason to come to this city anymore. 

My parents r so happy we r here and I can see that in their excited eyes. They both love my partner and that makes me feel great. 

We r going back on Monday by train and I have already saved many pages in my pocket so I can have a read on the train.

Hats off to the beautiful weather!

I'm soon going to be a week off and the semester has already been finishing. Moj and I are taking a short trip to Mashad to visit my parents. It's like four days and my mom has already nagged about its length and has already tried to make me feel guilty about it. I don't know what it is about,but parents tend to make their children feel guilty a lot here and it sometimes goes on my nerves. 
Well, I promised myself to be active on the learning road,so I guess I should try hard not to give that feeling to my children in the future. 

We had the best Friday this week having lunch at this great restaurant Haj Mohsen and havig juice coming up with our besties.

 The night ended in rainy weather and that's what was Tehran missing. It is actually raining right now as I'm typing. It's so beautiful that I wish I didn't have to go to work and could have all day for myself. 

P.s : I love my mom but I believe living in another city and being far from her has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. She may nags a lot but it actually worked for the best for both of us. She is less needy and tries to have fun and that makes me happy. 

I have a time capsule and I'm happy

Since we had three days off, we decided to have it on a trip to north. I used to go on a trip with a bunch of people. This was the second trip I went on with him all alone. And I should confess it was perfect. When you are married to your best friend and you also love him to death, spending time with him is the most exciting thing you can ask for. 
We had so much fun. And I think the key is that we let each other have the space we need. There were times I was reading and he was playing games on his beloved laptop and it made the time we had with each other even more interesting. 

 *

I fell in love with Rasht. It is not only a beautiful city but also the most cheerful place I have ever seen. The colors make you crazy. I was all eyes and I coudn't get enough of it. We had a great experience at Shorekoli , a great local restaurant which had this motto to become universal one day. and I think it should. I literally cried having lunch there and the tears were real. I knew we are leaving this amazing city and it will be long since the next time I can have a bite of it. I strongly recommend the Kebab-Torsh and the Gamej-Kebab if you were going there. 
*

My partner's parents were happened to be near to Rasht for a trip too, so we had a day with them. It was lovely seeing them all happy and excited. My partner's father made this delicious fish for us which I can't still forget the taste of. 
*

There is a part on any trip that you want to capture the most and for me it was the moments we were walking in the bazar. I couldn't believe the beauty I was observing. There were times I was standing still staring at colors and I was feeling so happy I couldn't really breathe. I strongly suggest you to have a look at bazar if you are fond of nature and local culture. 
*

I tried to capture many frames of this trip to have them all. I think of having a time capsule from time to time and I think I have one by using the Instagram and this blog. I can't wait to get back there.. When is the next great holiday ?

 
 

Is intimacy worth it or is it just a false morel ?

While growing up, you are looking forward to getting to the day in which you can handle the wounds. You are hurt. so does everybody else. You seek escape from pain. You can't wait the arrival of the day in which you are tough enough to manage the blue moments of your life.
Then there you are. All grown up. mature enough to get in touch. You have heard many fairy tales of true friendship and great bonding. You are looking hard to find your fairy tale! That's where you make the biggest mistake. Life is damn real and fairy tales are not. You fall into a pattern of intimacy which does not exist. You have the dream. You start building up. Then you are hurt. one after each other. You lose your hope and start being pessimistic. You are looking for the cocktail hour. All you get is the mourning night !
You look for the non-judgmental good listener. All you get is an advice-giver. You wonder why your friend does not care about you as much as you care about the relationship. People come and go. People have got their own stories. You try and try and the chemistry doesn't always work. 
You start counting the numbers. counting the wounds. counting the people who have come to your life. How many relationships should you have to find the real one ? How many times are you going to experience the hardship of a break-up ?
Is intimacy worth it or is it just a false morel ? 
Are you trying too hard ? 
Isn't forgiveness the true mark of maturity ? How come you can't let the ones who hurt you back in your life ? Are you selfish or are you scared ?
The damn fairy tales confused us to death ! 

 
 
 

Am I a night-dreamer ?

Neil Gaiman once said: " People think dreams are not real just because they are not made of matter, of particles.But they are made of viewpoints, of images,of memories and puns and lost hopes. " I'm not sure if mine comes from a lost hope or metaphor of what I am seeking in the world after. I don't even believe in it. I lack knowledge and I strongly believe that everybody's knowledge about it is insufficient. 
However, I have this dream and it hits me a lot that I am a bird flying high to a waterfall. There is this deep silence in the air and the only sound filling is the sound of water drops falling down. I am going forth and back, flying around and just feel great. It seems to me that I have found the meaning of living in that moment and nothing is important anymore. It's like pure 100% peace floating in my wings. 

Watching the world from the high angel is what I am really interested in. I remember some months ago I actually made a board on pinterest and named it || After death, if I could fly || and then I just pinned many photos of high angle in it. Sometimes at nights when I'm ready to fall asleep, I just take a look at that special board of mine and think about observing everything there, from that sacred angel. I close my eyes and I see New York city . The yellow cabs bustling and people walking so fast to get somewhere. And then I go to cinemas, cafes, bars and vacant alleys. I visit Paris, Prague, Beirut, Zagreb and the journey  goes on and on ...  I close my eyes and I become this floating ghost or a bird or anything like that and I just feel like I am high. drunk with my dreams... That is the best kind, isn't it ? 


p.s: Look at my board. All the places I have been to...dreaming. 

Give them the finger they were looking for !

The world was supposed to become a more comfortable place. The motto was about accepting differences. People were supposed to express themselves more easily and the world was supposed to embrace those people with tender. I am living in a developing country and it just seems a lot to ask. In my country there are many homophobes and it just doesn't end there. The judgmental eyes rolls at many other things too. in a nutshell, being different and having a unique lifestyle is frowned upon here. 
I feel I was completely uptight so many years ago when I was a teenager. But then I started to become this open-minded person who I think I am today. I believe that everywhere in the world people become more mellow when they get older. But it doesn't work like this in my country. I have had many teenagers in my classes and I am so happy to see how the new generation is trying new things or at least is not afraid of those who r different. On the other hand, older people r hard to change. It seems to me that they tend to close their world as they r getting old like every little change is totally dangerous and threatening to their existence. They think the world is a better place with a same system of thinking and same tastes. On the contrary, they r making the world a harder place to live and the first target of discomfort is themselves actually. 

I have seen many tolerant open-minded people though ... I think I still need to be hopeful about the coming generation. don't I ?

 

Am I ?

well, Albert Einstein reportedly thought of his theory of relativity while riding his bike. The theory of relativity has already been discovered, so I needed to think about something else on the bike. I was actually thinking about leaving the country I am living in behind and just go somewhere far far away from this craziness. The importance of this thought is that I have always wanted to stay here even in the hardest days and despite all limitations. This was actually the first time I was thinking of leaving. 
I may not go anywhere soon,but I am tired of many things . 
my bestie was arrested last night in the street because she was wearing a woolen kind of hat on her scarf. The police arrested her cause they believed it is a kind of getting-attraction work of art. She was humiliated and was really angry. She came here and we had dinner with our partners. We had a good laugh and she cooled down a little . 

I have stayed here all these years cause I thought the only problem was the authority. However, these days I'm reconsidering my thoughts. people r the ones who I am tired of. 
people with their judgmental eyes and their strict opinion about every single matter. 
I was riding a bike and I was thinking the only way to be happy in Iran is to live in a protective bubble you make around yourself. The one that you allow the selected people to get in and the house in which you live as u like. 

I've got my partner, my besties and my house. Am I gonna survive ?